Hello Sleep

We finally gave in.

Alex had his first taste of formula last week.

I had to do a real convincing job on the hubby but I think my rationale of "wouldn't you rather he try a little formula than having to listen to him cry out it?" worked wonders!

Night one's results weren't so amazing, but night two yielded two 5 hour sleep batches. Woohoo! The 11pm/12am bottle of 4oz of formula has been going strong all week and we've been getting 4 or 5 hour stretches which is a huge improvement over 2.5-3.

So I'm happy to be getting a bit more shut eye but know that there is plenty of room for improvement. And maybe with the introduction of peas today (cereals weren't getting a warm welcome) we can push it to 6 or 7 hours.

So from an ardent breast milk mom...if you're up all night giving formula a try isn't such a bad idea. It's one step in the right direction that may have just avoided a lot of crying for this family!

The Doctor is In

This past week seems to have been a whirlwind.

One sick kid. One 4-month checkup. Lots of learning and even more gray hairs.

While I would like to start enjoying my Sunday night (now that I've wrapped up on 2 Sweetspot articles) I didn't want to leave some of you hanging on discoveries that I think are worth sharing.

1. Bye Bye Binky helped us stopped the pacifier addiction but only at the first step. Once I cut an actual hole in the tip, I had a hysterical guy on my hands. But by putting 7 needle size holes in the tip he uses a pacifier to soothe himself to sleep but immediately spits it out and therefore isn't completely dependent on it.

2. We need to wait until 6 months to attempt Ferber. According to our pediatrician, 4-5 months is a time of learning about trust and mistrust and by leaving a baby to cry you are having an impression on their personality (thank goodness we gave up after 1 night)

3. Solids are now only to be started at 6 months of age. We started Hannah on rice cereal at 5 months but our pediatrician said the rules have changed to a strict 6 month start date.

4. Almost 3 year old meltdowns are not fun. Won't get into the details of this one but hoping it can all be blamed on a cold that developed the next day.

That's my update for now. Be back in a little while with more of this whirlwind life of a working mom in a new home with two kids and a dog!

Daddy's Bed

Houston, we have a problem.

Got a fantastic 8+ hours of sleep on Tuesday night and totally thought we had gotten an easy pass out of our co-sleeping problem.

Until last night...

Hannah went to bed without a fuss at 7:30 but promptly awoke 2 hours later. We let her toss and turn for a while but I eventually had to go in. What a mistake!

"Daddy's bed....daddy's bed..."

Oh no, I thought. I want my pillows all to myself. So I offered to read her some stories but was met with absolute hysteria. I had the idea of bringing daddy's pillow into her bed which calmed her down instantly. So I began to read her books, sing her songs and sit beside her but almost an hour later I was freezing on the floor and she was jumping up and down.

So, I logically got out a blanket and a pillow and made myself comfy. But wouldn't you know she wanted to join me in slumber on the floor.

So we slept together for a good 2 hours on the hard floor. At about 2am, she was fast asleep and my side was in excruciating pain, so I gently lifted her up and plopped her into bed. She didn't move...until I left the room when she popped up and started shrieking.

Another floor attempt with lots of rustling around and we ended up back in "daddy's bed" at 4am.

Oy vey. What a mess I've made. It doesn't help that we'll be away for the weekend sharing a room with her.

Tonight, I will not go into her room. No matter how loud the crying gets.

Kind of feel like I'm ferberizing again.

Any suggestions? I want my bed back!

MIA Mom

I have been bad. I haven't blogged in over a week. I'm sorry.

Excuses, excuses. Yes, I have many of them but let's just say this week was a bit of a whirlwind.

It started off with 27 degree temperatures in Stowe, VT for a long weekend that including everything, even a wading pool!

An early Monday morning visit with the twins I blogged about in November. After 5 months, they had their official homecoming and are doing superbly. Their mom amazed me as she is completely cool, calm and collected. I remember one baby being a handful but she has one in each hand and seems to be managing quite well!

A networking event, playgroup hostess, learning that our beloved E will be away for the entire month of May , being asked to work in an office twice a week...ah! Time to breathe!

But unfortunately, that's not so easy. Sure, it's the weekend but our nap hiatus continues. My attempts at re-ferberization have been a bust. I got lucky with one post-playgroup nap in her crib that lasted 40 whole minutes. For 3 days, I avoided going out so she wouldn't fall asleep in the car or stroller but then I had to get on with life.

It seems my 13 month old has better things to do too since she stands in her crib for an hour, twice a day, whining and pointing at various objects in her room.

So working has unfortunately become a full time night job.

There are my excuses. I will try to be better. I promise.

But must cut it short as the 40 minutes of whimpering has now turned into crying and I figure it's pointless to let her continue.

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Worst Mother Moment

After an hour of crying I went to go get her. Still perplexed as to how this happened, I decided to feel around in her mouth for new teeth. To my shock, what did I find but two molars making their debut. Aha! The possible cause for our misery. A lump in my throat, I felt terrible letting her cry it out when she was likely In terrible pain. Here's to hoping that molars don't have a permanent reverse Ferber effect...

Too Much of a Good Thing

Just realized that I haven't posted in almost a week.

It's been a bit of a hustle and bustle kind of week with the Jewish holidays. Hannah stayed home for the first seder as it only started at 8:30 which was well beyond her usual bedtime. But she made an appearance the second night at her grandparent's house. We managed to get her to nap in the car at about 6pm and surprisingly she was full of beans the rest of the night. We thought we'd have to put her in a pack and play come 8:30 but she stayed awake until 10.

We were so impressed.

Until the next day when I couldn't get her to nap. Two walks = two naps and a mother who got absolutely no work done.

Wow, do I ever regret letting her stay up so late. Especially as I listen to her cry (going on 45 minutes now) for her afternoon nap. I thought this day were behind us but...snap...all of a sudden I seem to be doing Ferber again. It kills me to hear her cry (like it did months ago) but I've GOT to do work. And she NEEDS to nap.

I knew Ferber could get reversed with a cold or travel but going to bed late one night?

I am completely in shock.

And slightly depressed that all of those days of work seem to be but a memory.

Why The Wait?

I have previously mentioned my tower of night table books on the subject of sleep. I have a go-to book for every particular situation but I now realize that I probably could have gotten by with just two of them.

Ferber is tough love but a must-have, especially for a sleep hater like Hannah.

And the second is a recent acquisition: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

To this day I keep asking myself why I waited so long to purchase this book that has been recommended by quite a few moms. I don't think this book is enough on its on as it refers to theories of Ferber and Pantley (No Cry Sleep Solution) but it is the most comprehensive, logical book about sleep.

And I am proud to say that it is the reason why Hannah is now napping 1.5-3 hours a day in her crib. Granted it took some working on (and lots of crying) with her dad off of work for a week. But the main lesson learned was that an earlier bedtime will encourage naps as it diminishes over-tiredness. It seems logical in retrospect but never even crossed my mind.

The book talks about children being the newest accessories who are dragged from here to there. But if you really want to raise a happy, healthy child then you need to respect their right to sleep. Not in the car seat. Not in the stroller. But in their crib.

A must read in my opinion.

It's been a great week. So much time to be productive and even take a half an hour by myself to do absolutely nothing. Sure its been hard to let go, but after almost 9 months of go-go-go its a nice change.

And now that Hannah is in bed by 6pm, unfortunately when he goes back to work, her dad will only be able to play with her for a few minutes upon getting home from the office.

But after a week together 24/7, I think he now appreciates my exhausting days and will give up some of that precious time so I can have some precious time of my own.

All Grown Up

Everything takes time and so it seems our time for success with the Ferber method has come.

Please, please, I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

After two hours of crying night one was relatively painless. Night two was even better.

Perhaps our first attempt at 4 months was just too early. And we did cave on the second attempt by staying with her until she fell asleep.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week only gets better.

And that we'll soon be packing our bags for a week in the big apple.

Here we go again

Two hours. 120 minutes. Countless cries.

Ferber method, take 3.

After a travel weekend gone wrong (sleep wise) we're breaking out the book again and attempting the Ferber Method.

I was spared the first hour by going to yoga but the sobbing is definitely sobering. She's gotten so close to stopping so many times. And now we have collectively decided to stop going in to comfort her because it does just the opposite.

The worst part of it all is that, like last time, we can easily soothe her to sleep if we just keep a loving arm on her until her eyes shut. Last time we caved. This time we will try not to.

With a strong willed child we will give it four days. If the nights continue to be filled with endless tears we will let it be.

We'll take that last (planned) vacation (for the next little while) and then get back on track with the no cry sleep solution upon our return. It worked last time. Slowly but surely. After three weeks we were just about where we wanted to be.

It's a trade off, time vs. tears. Right now, time is sounding a lot better.

But Ferber seems to work for everyone else so we will try (again) to put ourselves in those ranks.

Hopefully once she finally gives in tonight, it will be for the night.

Tough stuff.

The Mommy Method

Night One.

Take Two.

Ferber.

Well, Ferber modified that is.

It's all about using your instincts as a mom, right? So, instead of following the Ferber method step by step, we have adapted it to our level of comfort. And night one was quite successful.

Down to bed after a feeding at 8am. Sure, she was upset but I left the room for a few minutes. Once the crying ensued, I re-entered put my hand on her chest until she settled and stayed with her until she drifted off.

Pretty easy, right? Too easy!

Then at 10pm she woke again and just couldn't seem to settle herself. So after an hour of crying, a huge poopy diaper and a small feed, I put her back down. I made a few attempts at comforting her but knew at that point nothing would work so we just let her cry it out.

Eventually she fell asleep.

We heard some more kvetching at 1am but chose to ignore it. Followed by a bit more at 4am.

And then at 7:45am I heard her playing in her crib and went to say good morning (in desperate need to feed her).

Wow, the first night I have stayed in my own bed in months!!!

So maybe Hannah is now more mature or we have just realized that not everything can be by the book.

Mom knows best and hopefully this new mommy method will take only days to make an impact!

Mission Aborted

I've lost faith in Ferber...at least for now.

Maybe she's just not ready. But after 7 nights of crying it out with no improvement in sight this just isn't working. Plus it's making her cranky during the day and has most definitely developed her vocal cords (not in a good way).

We'll let that first tooth break through, start solids and visit her doctor for a 6-month checkup in September. Then we'll re-assess.

And in the meantime, as long as anyone is able to rock her to sleep I'm fine with that. We have definitely made improvements in the boob to soothe department so let's take our success and run with it, for now.

So, you must be wondering, what will I write about now? To be honest, I'm not quite sure myself. But I am quite certain Hannah has something in store.

Nighttime vs. Naptime

Information overload...that's what happens when you try to go by the book.

So I've made the decision to focus on getting Hannah to sleep at night on her own and putting the naps on hold for the moment. She settled herself in 10 minutes tonight (yay!). Hopefully its the progressive-waiting approach working rather than the over tiredness from sleeping a mere 1h45 since 9am.

As for the naps, as much as I hate it, I will rely on the car seat, stroller and boob (sleep associations) for now. I'll take the 10+ hours at night for the moment. Definitely an accomplishment in the past week.

One step at a time...baby steps you might say.

Screech

The title of this post may bring you back to the 80s, when Saved by the Bell was all the rage...and Screech was one of TV's finest nerds.

Unfortunately not what I am referring to.

I wish.

Rather, its the sound currently emitting from my daughter's bedroom. A high pitched squeal that is making its first time debut.

6:30 bath in preparation for an early 8pm bedtime. But the minute her head hit the change table for a massage and sleeper change, the tears began to flow.

I guess we won't be one of those families that mastered the Ferber method in 3 nights.

At least we can be (somewhat) light-hearted about it...my husband seems to think this is great for expanding her lung capacity. Too bad it can't make our hearts expand just a tiny bit so they don't break with each screech.

Ferber Night 2

Went out last night for groceries and came home to a screaming Hannah.

What could it be? Constipation? She hadn't pooped all day....for the first time ever. Teething? Do I feel something coming through?

With the Tempra in hand, we soon realized that we was just plain tired. Hmm...maybe this Ferber thing will get her to bed early. So after calming her down a bit, into her crib she went without a peep.

Until 1am that is. It lasted nearly an hour but she eventually put herself to sleep. Night 1 was easy compared to this! But with a sleep in until 7am I learned that nighttime feedings may not be necessary.

Now the confusion sets in when it comes to nap time. If I let here cry it out she will be crying all day long. But if I give her the boob will that confuse her again at nighttime? I think Dr. Ferber should have put his home phone number in the book for confused parents like me :)

Ferber Night 1

After a relaxing weekend in the country, which consisted of lots of reading, it was go time. I now knew how to solve my child's sleep problems which consisted of associations (boob, back rubbing) and sleeping in too late.

After the usual nighttime routine, I simply set Hannah down in her crib gave her a kiss and walked away. Of course, hysterical crying ensued. But after visits at 3, 5, 10 and 10 minute intervals she calmed herself down and fell soundly asleep. Sure the crying had my husband and I practically in tears ourselves. But the comforting element was that she usually cries that much on any given night. We're just usually there to rub her back.

She stirred again around 2:45 so I went in to feed her. She's only just shy of 5 months so considering it had been almost 7 hours since her last feeding I went to top her off. Again, I pulled her off before she could doze off. But one burp later, I placed her in bed and she was asleep again (with no fuss) within minutes.

So now its early into the morning hours and she is up and we're trying to keep her up. At this time, I usually nurse her in bed and we sleep until 9am. It seems to be harder on me than on her :)

Hopefully tonight will go as smoothly. And I'll be kicking myself for not trying this sooner!

Toothpicks Please

Pass the toothpicks...I need them to keep my eyes open today.

I thought sleep was back in style after the 7 hours I got two nights ago. But in the theme of mixing it up, last night started out with a 1-hour hysterical crying session and then wake up calls at 1am, 2:30am and 5am.

Trying to resist her need to suck to soothe means all the more tears. And my husband coming into the room inevitably asking "are you sure she's not hungry?" And my answer of the past month "No, she's not hungry...she went 7 hours the other night without eating..."

So I'm off to my sister's today to get her copy of the Ferber Method. With 5 months upon us I think the time has come. For me at least...

Thinking about calling our pediatrician to see if she is on board to convince the husband its not too early. I have high hopes for Ferber - early bedtimes, sleeping through the night, and the ability to fall asleep sans boob (at night and for naps).

Hope I'm not putting all of my eggs in one basket or I'll have to stock up on the toothpicks...

August Ninth

August 9th is just two weeks away, but it is on my mind everyday. Friends of ours are getting married and I am working hard to have an enjoyable evening sans Bebe and with minimal phone calls from the grandparents.

You see, in the past, we would need to rush home from social functions to be greeted by a red-eyed, bawling Hannah. I would peel off my top in record speed and quickly soothe her with the boob.

Well, I am proud to say that she now will fall asleep without me and my mammary glands. Just the sound of a heartbeat and some back rubbing will do the trick (usually on the 2nd or 3rd attempt). I'm not yet ready for ferberizing and quite pleased with my accomplishment for the moment.

So my in-laws won't have a problem putting her to bed but now I need to work on my second mission. She's a night owl, only going to bed around 10pm. But since the wedding starts at 6:30, a nap is inevitable.

How can the boob-less grandparents get this little one to have some early evening shut eye?

A drive in the car or a walk in the park are options but I'd rather not rely on crooked sidewalks and city potholes.

Any other suggestions to make nap time a bit more relaxing?